


Little Talks

by abluewhisper



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Light-Hearted, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, like completely platonic pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 22:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18838243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abluewhisper/pseuds/abluewhisper
Summary: “What shall I call you then?”“Bucky. Just Bucky.”“Just like what dad called you?”





	Little Talks

_Now what?_

 

That was the question James Buchanan Barnes had most of the time recently. Not that he was so eager to wander into the still-coping-with mind of his, but it was maybe the result of a desperate feeling that was silently leaking out of control.

 

Everything was too peaceful.

 

Too _finished_.

 

A kind of life he was not prepared for.

 

Ever since he recovered from those times when his brain had literally been messed up, everything was just... surreal. He felt as if he was living in some kind of a film noir, then seconds later it switched into an HD movie so full of vibrant colours. Hell, even the word high-definition itself still seemed too futuristic.

 

Bucky snapped himself out of it. The trick to live —in his case to keep up with the present— was to not feel too conscious about such attempt, or else you would eventually find yourself not being able to stop pondering over how much everything had changed.

 

At least he still felt like being the same old Bucky, most often than not, and that should be enough.

 

Or so he convinced himself.

 

“Hi, I… um… I’m looking for my solar-powered jet model.”

 

_And what exactly is that again?_

 

Bucky turned around to find a teenage girl entering the room, first unaware of his presence but soon calling out when she noticed a movement at the corner of her eyes.

 

“I’m not sure if here is where you should be searching.”

 

He meant what he said. Bucky had been coming here more than twice a month to wait for a training Nick Fury arranged, something he insisted the whole team should have after that final battle. Not everyone agreed, of course, but maybe a thought had occurred to them without anyone actually discussing, so they just went with the flow.

 

There was not much to do these days anyway.

 

“I think I left it here when my mom and I came last Tuesday. Uncle Sam said maybe I should come to have a look.”

 

 _Uncle Sam._ He chuckled.

 

“Are you laughing because you don’t believe me?”

 

She glared at him. Bucky studied her, the girl has this pair of eyes that reminded him of Tony Stark, not the so obvious physical resemblance but more of the sheer confidence that was constantly shimmering out.

 

“No, sorry. I have never heard someone calling my friend like that.”

 

“Is it funny?”

 

“It’s brilliant.”

 

Now he had something to look forward to next time he met this friend of his.

 

“What shall I call you then?”

 

That question came as a surprise. He raised his eyebrows, unsure of what to say next. During these past few months he had seen this Little Princess Stark roaming around the facility for more times than he could count, but a realisation struck him that this was the first time they had an actual conversation between each other.

 

It was not that he tried to avoid her in the past, he was just not good with kids.

 

Not exactly with a daughter of the legendary Mr Stark.

 

“Bucky. Just Bucky.”

 

“Just like what dad called you?”

 

Bucky stiffened.

 

“He talked about me?”

 

“Yeah. Sometimes. Dad talked about others too, you know. How Cap’s swear words significantly outnumbered the times he _languaged_ the team, or how Uncle Thor used to steal his cheeseburgers and he couldn’t tell mom because she would definitely complain about his dietary.”

 

“Sounds like a lot of good memories.”

 

“Then why do you look so sad?”

 

Innocent words from the girl would hurt less if he knew an answer to that. He felt as if he never did quite catch up with anything, all had passed and the next things he knew Tony Stark was dead while his best friend came back from a time travel being an incredibly old man.

 

He was not ready for any of those things.

 

“Maybe because I didn’t get a chance to say the things I was supposed to.”

 

“I think I kinda get that.”

 

Bucky watched as the girl came and sat next to him before she started to gently sway herself on the couch. It could be because of her jolly gesture that made him feel a bit more at ease with the atmosphere, or the way she talked and everything in his blurry memory somehow seemed more real, more _high-definitioned_.

 

“I had this one friend at school, Julia, we did a science project together. She was the smartest person I’ve ever met, not counting dad and mom of course, but she was still cool, you know. We stuck together a lot. But then one day she moved to another school. And even though I knew it all along and we chatted and things I still felt like I didn’t tell her enough how much I loved her, or how I regretted snatching her cheese fries during lunch.”

 

He raised his eyebrows, sending off a half disapproving, half disbelieving glance, then actually burst out laughing when she replied.

 

“I’m just trying to save my friend from diabetes.”

 

“I’m sure she must be very grateful.”

 

“Right?” She shrugged.

 

Her beaming face brought back an awful lot of memories of Tony Stark. Not that he used to see the guy smiled, worse than that was the fact that they had never had a proper talk with each other. And before everyone knew, he was forever gone.

 

All the way too late.

 

“Do you think she ever forgives?”

 

“Me eating her favourite snacks?” The girl pouted. “Why would she? She even got her revenge when I came home one day and wasn’t able to finish my homework because she stole my pencil case. We’re talking about the real evil here.”

 

Right. And that was only over some boxes of cheese fries.

 

“I got angry, refused to talk to her like, weeks, then one day my pencil case was back under my desk. Everything was fine… until I got lectured by dad.”

 

Bucky smiled as he was trying to picture the man behind an Iron Man suit getting serious about being a father.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s about this, maybe not. I thought he was going to tell me to go and apologise her, but instead he started off with his own stories.”

 

Suddenly she stopped swaying herself and turned to look at him. He was caught a bit off guard but remained silent, waiting for her next words.

 

“Dad told me his life was so full of revenge and guilt. I asked how much but he said so much I wouldn’t be able to imagine. Then I wanted to know what’s his secret of dealing with those things.”

 

“And what did he say?”

 

“He didn’t have one. He actually failed.”

 

That was definitely not the kind of answer Bucky was hoping to hear.

 

“He told me it was so hard for him, after everything he had been through.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Not that he couldn’t guess.

 

_“Then he said it was the same for everyone.”_

 

Bucky blinked. He turned around and looked at the girl who was staring out at the windows, not looking at anything in particular.

 

“Like we all have our own misery and life is just a pile of dramatic, nonsensical stories no one has ever asked for.”

 

“He taught you that after the pencil case incident?”

 

“Kind of. That was when he brought up your name.”

 

“I’m… sorry?”

 

He thought they were talking about the girls’ little quarrel just a little while ago.

 

“You got into a fight with him, like me and Julia?”

 

 _Technically not wrong._ And now he wondered what kind of lessons Mr Stark had actually taught his own daughter. It seemed she got a lot of her own ideas, as much as an imagination of a fourteen-year-old would let her of course.

 

“Yeah. It didn’t turn out very well though.”

 

“Because you didn’t get a chance to say what you were supposed to.”

 

She merely repeated what he had admitted earlier, but he was taken aback once again by the realisation. This was just him being overreacting,  Bucky was already too conscious about it, yet it occurred to him at the exact moment just how much he had been keeping this to himself, not being able to let go.

 

_It was the same for everyone._

 

“No I didn’t.”

 

“I know my dad. He might be difficult sometimes…”

 

The girl sat upright, holding back whatever she was going to tell him. At first he understood it was maybe because she was uncertain of her next words, until he caught her eyes and saw she was on the verge of tears.

 

The silence that fell on the room twisted something inside his stomach. He didn’t like it one bit.

 

Before he could think of something to say to brighten up both their moods, the girl spoke out.

 

“But I’m sure if he were here he would listen to what you have to say.”

 

There was clearly more than what she let out, as if she was reassuring herself with the thought as well. Something in her tone was soothing to him, which made him wonder if it was a Stark’s trait to always think about others’ feelings first before themselves.

 

Bucky held out his hand and gently patted on the girl’s head. She was startled, first out of the unfamiliarity with a gesture from someone who was not close to her, but when she learnt he was only doing the same thing mom and Happy usually did to her, she sank back into the couch, blinking away the tears.

 

She smiled to him.

 

And he couldn’t help but smiled back.

 

“Thanks, Morgan.”

 

She spoke a few words about coming back again next week to have a chat with him, then stood up and left the room when someone came and told him to get ready for the next session. He stretched up, walking towards the door but stopped when he noticed a plastic model kept behind the books on the shelves. Could be the maid who put it there.

 

He picked it up and studied a small object in his hand. A thought occurred to him and Bucky couldn’t help lifting up the corners of his mouth.

 

“You know you raised up one very amazing kid.”

 

Maybe it’s time, after all these years, it’s time he paid a proper visit to the Starks. And he hope Morgan wouldn’t mind if he asked to accompany her to see her father.  

 

He sure had a lot of things to say to him.

 

END.

**Author's Note:**

> So what happened here was like five or six years after the Endgame movie. To be honest there's really no serious plot here. I just feel the need to do something about Bucky not getting a chance to tell Tony how sorry he was. They both deserved better. Anyway, thank you so much for reading!


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